A Construct of a not-so-Human Mind

Human brain is an amazing construct. It manifests realities out of thin air.

A Construct of a not-so-Human Mind
Photo by Alexander Grey / Unsplash

... I happened to be on a train with this girl. Medium stature, pale colored, long and dark haired. She introduced herself as a psychiatrist and we of course had a good discourse about psychology and related stuff. She by virtue of her psychological insight and curious nature finds in me something worth investigating. Makes me an offer for some therapy session. She thinks I might prove to be an interesting subject.

I agree because it was something new for me too.

Then the fun part starts. Multiple sessions pass by and I happen to over-analyze the psychiatrist herself.

She graded me as a professional misanthropist, the title which I gladly accepted.

I, in the back of my mind, labelled her as a psychopath and I pretty much convincingly implanted this idea of mine in her head.

Human brain is an amazing construct. It manifests realities out of thin air.

You can go on secretly having a crush on someone for years and years and it won't be that much of a life/death situation. But you, for once, for the heck of it, actually tell someone out loud that you love her/him and you will feel like incapacitated without her/him for the rest of your life. That's your mind playing games on you.

That's the trigger I accidentally pulled on Johanna. I just conjured up a name for the girl :)

I let her know that she is a psychopath. Her brain, which for 19 years was craving to be understood, finally got itself a label. Her mind started playing games on her.

We carried a few more sessions and sometime later, got married! Voila.

A misanthrope, asperger stricken meets a literal psychopath. Of course they are gonna love each other and hate as well at the same time. Love/hate relationships are the most thriving ones.

We get ourselves a nice cottage-like mansion on a dreary, oft-overcast countryside. I actually architected the design of that cottage in Gothic style. It was like a dream house. :) Had two entrances. One on the road and other into the forest. If you peek attentively you can of course see a lake from there. Pardon my excessive use of of course. I might take intuitive leaps over few things which you don't have to.

We lived there happily ever after...


Of course not!

She was a psychiatrist and she offered therapy sessions in nearby town.

She visited a family with 4 children, a mom and dad. Dad was a veteran struggling with PTSD, again, of course. Can't think of something else happening to a veteran. :) Hundreds of scripts on veterans have only taught me this much.

From here onwards I don't really know the details. I can only tell you what happened.

I heard from Johanna that the veteran was no longer interested in the sessions.

Then for some reason, doubting Johanna, I paid that family a visit. What I see is an overgrown room. One children each tied in 4 corners of room. Their mom on the bed. All of them were part of that overgrown culture. Mother nature infested in their bodies. They were now a part of it. Room was extremely cold. Dad was missing. Five of them were frozen and preserved in mother nature. Up beat music was playing on Alexa.

I couldn't help myself unimagine how all of the overgrown room would be resonating with the music. Children must have tried to match steps with the beat. Slowly and steadily the resonance might have matched but with dwindling amplitude. Fading into eternal bliss. Frozen forever. Preserved in time.

After all this. I had to wake up. Had to.

So, this is a dream I just had. This time when I woke up to it I tried to understand and dissect it.

How did my mind conjure this all up. Recently I have been studying about brain and cognition. So, I thought let's do this dissection analysis as a practice exercise.

Ultimate wisdom comes from the ability to connect every dot in the world.

So, I started connecting dots.

The biggest and the most obvious cause for this dream was that I was watching Hannibal TV Series before going to bed. I just started that show. If you think about that, it all makes sense. But that's not everything about it. If you really think carefully there is a lot more interesting happening.

I tried connecting dots. Here is a list.

  1. Recently I heard about Elon Musk criticising public transport system. There were many stores like this one 'I met my wife on a train platform': Twitter responds to Elon Musk with positive public transport stories'
  2. Recently, a few other people were talking about my marriage etc.
  3. In Hannibal Series, 8 murdered girls are all mostly like "Medium stature, pale colored and long haired"
  4. I actually once met a psychology grad through a mutual friend and we had good discussion. I happened to recall that memory yesterday.
  5. That psychology grad told me, I am kind of a person who might start psychoanalyzing the therapist.
  6. Johanna is a girl from Sweeney Todd. A movie of an aesthetic similar to plot of this dream.
  7. I visualized architecting this Gothic House, just like I actually used to do in The Sims 3 game.
  8. For every dark situation, Gothic culture/aesthetic is my personal preference.
  9. That lake in the forest comes from Conjuring movie.
  10. Overgrown culture on bodies in room was direct reference from mushrooms grown on body from Hannibal and similar to that depicted movie, I am Legend.
  11. I have been recommended a documentary "Score" on music production in movies, repeatedly. My brain somehow managed to bring the beats in the scene.
  12. Recently, I have been exploring Flamenco music. It's very upbeat music.
  13. Dark humor is my personal taste. So, this music and frozen death all makes sense.
  14. One of the victims in Hannibal's case also liked trains.

It's amazing how our subconscious can construct such intricate narratives. It happened to me in a dream. My intuitive leaps make me think that you have to sell your own soul to write such stuff.

You have to either get high, drink and/or activate mindless state to get to the position of writing such narratives.

During sleep distance between soul and body is increased. True dreams are fed to souls. Ramblings and blabber are fed to bodies. So, I assume that when body is away from protection of soul it can ramble. Ramble a lot.
I am not 100% sure on this one yet. For now this conclusion seems plausible enough to sell.

Raise your hands if you think this post is more fun without this dissection part in the end.